Love Your Fate
Let me ask you a question, and be honest with yourself: how do you respond to life?
Do you find yourself generally welcoming of situations, whether they’re positive or negative? Or are you more the type to resist adverse circumstances and feel frustrated that things don’t go your way? Even more, do you complain?
While it’s certainly human nature to plan and hope for things to go our way, it’s universal nature for things to happen as they do, even if that doesn't agree with your personal view of what should happen. Think of how futile it would be for a single wave to go against the motions of the surrounding ocean (if waves could feel sensations, I’m pretty sure they’d feel burnt out extremely fast.) This is how you are when you resist your situations. You are a minuscule wave in an endless ocean. Why spend all your energy fighting circumstances instead of flowing with them?
The Stoics called preached this kind of attitude of life. Marcus Aurelius wrote that a fire continues to burn despite whatever is thrown into it. Epictetus said not to wish that anything be different, just that everything transpire the way that it does. Nearly 2,000 years later, Nietzsche would popularize this concept again in the form of “amor fati”- “love of one’s fate”. Just read this line from Nietzsche’s book Ecce Homo:
“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity.”
Unlike Nietzsche, I don’t believe that you don't need to literally love that you’re broke, or that a loved one died, or that you’re depressed. To me, that would just be too be artificial; while it’s easy for us to love the good things in our lives, it’s hard to love the bad. Instead, I think that equanimity is the solution here. Just accept the cards dealt to you in life and work with them accordingly. By all means, improve your situation, but just don’t resist anything. “Accept it and move on” can be said for all things in life. What’s more, having faith in literal fate is not a requisite to apply this outlook of life. If you do, then great- there’s no reason to hate what you believe was meant for you. If you’re not on the side of determinism, then grab life by the balls, channel your belief in free will to a place of empowerment, and make the best out of everything that comes your way. Peeling back the layers of the concept of amor fati means realizing that things could have only turned out that one way- again, by fate or by natural consequence.
Ultimately, loving your fate is an attitude of ultimate acceptance and empowerment. Embrace what happens to you wholeheartedly and control that which you can control. Stop lamenting over could haves and would haves. Drop this idea of how reality should be for you. There is no greater mark of a human being than to make the most of what is given to him. You were endowed with reason; use it.
At the end of your life, do you really want to remember it as years of complaining and resistance? Or one that was noble, guided by your own actions to overcome adversity?
Thanks for reading,
Alan
Additional Resources
Read more about amor fati in this article by the Daily Stoic.
This video on radical acceptance (derived from Stoicism’s amor fati) can shed more light on the matter. Better Ideas is an excellent channel all around.
A detailed article explaining what radical acceptance is, is not, and how to apply it your life.
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True Wealth Lies in Giving
After reading one of my favorite newsletters (shoutout to the Daily Stoic), I felt inspired to write this, somewhere between a response and an opinion. Not only that, but this topic has real potential, so I felt obligated to spread the word even more.
In his memoir Meditations, Marcus Aurelius stresses the value of possessing a good character. Just read a few excerpts for yourself:
“…to feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.”
“Don’t waste your time worrying about other people- unless it affects the common good.” and “…to care for all human beings is part of being human.”
“I’ll treat them [another human being] with… kindness and with justice.”
“And then you might see what the life of a good man is like- someone who is… satisfied with being just and kind himself.”
“Practice the virtues you can show: honesty, gravity, endurance, austerity, resignation, abstinence, patience, sincerity, moderation, seriousness, high-mindedness.”
These are just a few gems in this treasure of a book. Clearly, Marcus was a simple man; to him, the good was the most basic and dignified virtues. His life philosophy could essentially be summarized as act with virtue in regards to yourself and to others.
Considering that he was the most powerful man in the known world at the time as well as as incredibly wealthy, it’s refreshing to see that he kept values as the guide for his life, and not fame nor power nor money. In fact, to Marcus, wealth was not measured by coin; it was measured by goodness. In other words, wealth is not how much you have, it’s how much you can give. If it’s money, good. If it’s a place to sleep, good. Even if it’s just kindness, then good. Wealth has been twisted to mean how much you can have for yourself when it should be the complete opposite.
To go one step further, Marcus said that one should not expect anything in return (Meditations 5.6). Do good for the sake of doing good. The sun shines and provides warmth without hopes of reciprocation. The same goes for the fruits that grow and the rivers that flow. True goodness needs no other good in order to exist. As long as it comes from you, that’s all that can be asked of you.
So life exists to do good and make a positive difference. In the same way money would fund these endeavors, so too do virtues.
So the question remains: will you choose to be wealthy today? What steps will you take to become richer in your character today?
Thanks for reading,
Alan
*all quotations are extracted from Gregory Hays’s translation of Meditations.
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Additional Resources
If you’re interested in reading Meditations for yourself (which I hiiiiighly recommend), I’ve created a book list page where you can follow the link to purchase it. (small note: the Amazon link is an affiliate one, which means I receive a small commission from your purchase at no extra cost to you)
The Daily Stoic website, where you can read about the philosophy and sign up for their newsletter. Not sponsored, I just really love it!
In case you can’t get enough of Marcus Aurelius quotes, this article shares 22 more.
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“No one has ever become poor by giving.” -Anne Frank
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Mindfulness Is The Antidote for Perceived Problems
I would argue that all of man-made problems are the result of ignorance. We act without thinking of the consequences of our actions or we outright disregard them.
This is where self-exploration comes in. If we habitually take the time to sit down with ourselves, intentionally and genuinely, and really do some deep introspection about the motives for our actions, much (if not all) of our self-caused problems can be eliminated.
There would be no more need to rush into any decisions, or do/say something that you’ll regret later. Phrased positively, what Pascal is saying here is that mindfulness and intentionality are the antidotes to a turbulent life.
Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping
Here’s an idea worth pondering:
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
For reasons I don’t fully understand, we tend to treat ourselves way too harshly. As the saying goes, “we are our own worst critic.” It seems we always compare ourselves to others, especially those we deem “better” or “superior” than us. Why can’t we stop that? Or maybe an even better question is what would happen if we stopped doing that? Imagine how much more confident and just happier you would be if you ceased all comparisons that made you feel shitty and instead recognized that which you like about yourself. Take it one step further and actually make changes that you see in your ideal self.
Want to look better? Hit the gym, wear clothes that express yourself, and take care of your appearance.
Want to be kinder? Be super mindful of your tendencies and make adjustments where necessary.
Want to quit a habit? Acknowledge that it no longer serves you and make the effort to be better.
Want to follow through on a dream that you have? Tell yourself that you deserve to put in your 110% to achieve it. It’s amazing the things that can happen if one sincerely sets their mind towards something and acts with relentless drive and passion.
Will any of these be easy? No. Are they worth the effort? Most definitely. Life comes with struggles, so it’s up to each one of us to pick those which are meaningful to us.
Try to recall a time in your life where you underwent immense change. Maybe it was moving out for the first time, ending a toxic relationship or committing yourself to a serious one, starting a nerve-wracking (yet exciting) career, embarking on a transformation journey far from home, or just assuming greater responsibility domestically. I’d be willing to wager that this period of change was also accompanied by great inner growth. These trials are ones that bring out the things in us that we didn’t know we had and take us closer to finding out who we truly are. Change is the driving force in the universe; without it, nothing could ever happen. So don’t fear change. Embrace it, use it to get to know yourself deeper, and be excited about where it can take you.
The longest and most profound relationship you will have with anyone in this life is the one with yourself. Take care of it like you would a friendship.
Remember, the only person that you should be comparing ourself to is yourself from yesterday. Are you wiser, kinder, closer to who you want to be today?
I’ll leave you with this gif from @ninotbh:
Thanks for reading,
Alan
Additional Resources
Speaking of the website, I completely redesigned it. Check it out and let me know what you think. If you’re reading this in an e-mail, here’s the link to the website.
the art of not feeling lonely, a beautiful video by Hindz. I love his style of video where it feels like he’s sitting right in front of you and you’re both sharing a cup of tea.
Social Media
Instagram (I regularly publish guides and illustrations outlining a piece of intentional living- follow me so you don’t miss out!)
Twitter (I’m going to try and publish little food for thought tidbits on here)
Website (check out my shop, my recommended reading list, and donation page)
Reading this but aren’t yet subscribed? You can do so below (it’s free!)
You Are an Extension of the Universe
Photo by Mohamed Ali Elmeshad
Here’s an idea from one of my favorite minds of all time, Alan Watts:
Too often we create a mental division of the world, and that leads to acts of selfishness, violence, and just a general "me vs. them" mindset.
Such thinking (and living, as a result) can only lead to ultimate unsatisfactoriness. Surely division is less fulfilling than wholeness.
Everything is made of the same stuff. You're no different. You're identical to everything else that exists. What you do is what the universe does. How will that change how you live?