Reinvent Yourself Always
There's a paradoxical saying that goes, "change is the only constant in life."
That's true. Everything is always in a perpetual state of flux, endlessly shifting like some sort of cosmic dance.
We're no different. Being conscious of this, it is up to us to decide how we're going to shape ourselves and our life paths. Will we be straightened or will we straighten ourselves? Think about that.
There is no end-product to our development. There will always be something new for us to learn, explore, and experience. Otherwise, where's the fun?
Things Don't Have to Make Sense
Photo by Jeremy Perkins
Sometimes things happen and we don't fully comprehend why. We tend to make sense of it by attributing to a variety of possible factors: divine intervention, coincidence, (bad) luck, statistical (im)probability, or some other cause. There's so much that we don't know about everything, and that's a scary thing to accept for the mind.
But what if we could just accept things as they come? No rationalizing, no making sense of it,
just full acceptance.
The Stoics did this. The Taoists do this. The Buddhists do this. Even Western religion teaches to place full surrender in the hands of God.
Surely it's a lot easier to just live life riding the wave instead of spending your whole life analyzing it and figuring out why there's a wave to begin with.
So just try to live with an attitude of acceptance. When something comes across your path, just say "it's here. I'll deal with it accordingly and move on." No more resisting and obsessing over why it's there and why it had to happen to you.
View Loneliness Differently
Being alone can either mean being lonely or being in solitude. See the difference? In one case, you're *by* yourself and in the other you're *with* yourself.
Our mental states are everything. How you view yourself and your environment can mean the difference between living in hell or not.
If you find yourself alone, treat it as a sacred time. Get to know yourself. Be better. Examine your self-perceived flaws, judgements, preconceptions, and questions. This is where true growth occurs.
The relationship that you have with yourself is the most profound one that you'll ever have with anyone in your life. Cultivate it with compassion and understanding always.
You Are All That You Need
Photo by Ken Cheung
It's human nature, I think, to seek refuge in things other than ourselves. Whether it's a career, a partner, money, a home, or a destination, we tend to make our own peace dependent on external things.
This is just a recipe for turmoil.
When we place the basis for our wellbeing on something other than ourselves, that breeds suffering. In our minds, we're not complete; something else is that missing puzzle piece. The problem is, this continues over and over and over again. It's one thing to seek food when you're hungry or shelter when you need it, but to always be on the lookout for something to satisfy you is not conducive to mental clarity.
I'll end this by saying that a better home, job, or partner are not bad things. If you seek them from a place of personal betterment and they come along, then that's perfectly fine. But to live thinking that you're never fully complete isn't.
More often than not, you are all that you need.
More Options Equals Less Freedom
Have you ever realized that when you're faced with a multitude of options to choose from, a certain degree of paralysis can kick in and it inhibits your decision-making? With so many choices, how do we know for sure we're making the right one?
This is the paradox of choice. That is, the more freedom we have, the less is actually present, at least in a personal sense.
This phenomenon can manifest itself in large and small ways. Here's an example all of us can relate to: when we were children and we were told we could pick any box of cereal at the grocery store (just one, though!) There were so many to pick from yet we had to make a single choice. If you were like me, you probably spent the rest of the trip at the grocery store contemplating in your little eight year-old mind whether we made the right decision. The same thing happens in clothing shops, bookstores, bars and restaurants, tech stores, basically everywhere where consumerism runs rampant.
On a more significant scale, the paradox of choice becomes easier to see. We struggle to pick a vacation destination; we’re hunting for houses or apartments and we don’t know which to opt for; or that moment in college where one finally has to declare their major and literally be anything they want (this is a big one). Basically, when are presented with a variety of options, the result is more anxiety instead of an increased sense of freedom (credit here goes to Mark Manson in his book Everything is F*cked). There comes a point when too many choices yields diminishing returns.
The remedy to this is to limit ourselves on the options we have.
Keep your fridge and pantry down to the bare essentials so that you're not overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of it all. Keep your wardrobe minimalist so as to save time in deciding what to wear. Keep one book on your desk and finish it instead of alternating between five.
One of my preferred methods of eliminating options is keeping the home screen on my phone clean. Before, I had pages of apps just staring me in the face, begging to be opened. Naturally, this meant I would automatically switch between them every time I returned to the main screen, which led to a lot of lost time. Now, I wiped everything and I only keep my music and audiobook apps there. Since doing that, I have legitimately noticed less lost time on my phone and clearer experience when navigating my device.
Choice can be massively beneficial. Like all things in life, though, too much of a good thing isn't such a good thing. The lesson here is to be intentional with what you choose to choose. If it's a regular part of your life, make sure that it's affecting (and preferably benefitting) you in precisely the degree that you want, and not that you're merely a victim of it.
Thanks for reading,
Alan
Additional Resources
A short animated video that explains more about the paradox of choice.
An article by Barry Schwartz, author of the original book on the paradox of choice.
My Etsy shop, which recently launched. This is where I’ll be selling my digital prints and images.
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