The Process Behind Decision-Making
Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash
Every single moment of our lives involves decision-making in some capacity. There are small choices, such as what you’ll wear that day or what you’ll make for lunch. Then there are choices with a moderate impact, such as which car you’ll purchase or whether you want to make a lifestyle habit of going to the gym. Finally, there are the big choices: marriage, children, job selection, the list goes on. But do you know exactly why we make the choices we make? It goes beyond a simple list of pros and cons (though this system can be beneficial in its own right.)
Basically, all of the decisions that we make we make to satisfy at least one of six emotional necessities:
Certainty
Variety
Significance
Connection/Love
Growth*
Contribution*
(*these last two drive our spiritual needs. The first four drive our personality.)In the example of certainty, one might opt to continue working a traditional job (which is more or less secure) instead of starting a business (not so secure because it requires an initial investment and may fail).
For variety, this can come in the form of making the leap and moving to another city of country. For those who value this need highly, monotony gets old very quickly.
A decision made with significance at the forefront would be giving into peer pressure and consuming drugs with a group of people in order to feel important and like you belong.
A decision made on the basis of connection would be to go to a social gathering or to ask someone to marry you.
Growth would be going on a weeklong meditation retreat.
And finally, contribution would be volunteering at a food drive to give back to members of the community.
Of course, decisions can overlap in any one of these categories. Taking a new job is a mix of variety and certainty. Drinking socially is often as much about connection as it is about significance. Participating in activities that give back oftentimes grows the character at the same time.
One crucial thing to note is that the first four needs are not a permanent fix. What I mean by this is that you’ll never find lasting fulfillment by chasing activities fueled by these motivations. For genuine self-development, you must look beyond yourself and your superficial desires- you must look to the last two emotional needs. I don’t say this to sound “holier than thou”- we all have recreational past times. It’s just imperative that we prioritize our own evolution over cheap thrills.
Along the same lines, we must equally dissect our decision-making tendencies. We must constantly ask ourselves why we’re doing the things we do. This requires serious candor and a commitment to open up to ourselves. Is what we’re doing right for us? Is the need for approval from someone/some people so great that we resort to doing things we don’t really want? Can the variety that we seek be found through alternative means?
Thanks for reading,
Alan
Additional Resources
The idea for this article came from a close friend and family member, who in turn was inspired by this video by Tony Robbins (there is also a written version.)
While researching this topic, I was reminded of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The Six Needs match up almost perfectly to the levels on the pyramid: certainty to safety and physiological needs, connection to belongingness, significance to esteem, and growth and contribution to self-actualization. So this isn’t a new concept.
Social Media
